


The Shadow You Cast Over Me

by LadyShadowphyre



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Captain America, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: But Not From Steve, But Not From Thor, Gen, Howard's A+ Parenting, I Don't Even Know, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Odin's A+ Parenting, Overprotective Steve, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is a genius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-22 20:16:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/613881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyShadowphyre/pseuds/LadyShadowphyre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve may have a crush on Tony that he doesn't know how to handle. Tony isn't any better at handling Steve's crush for entirely different reasons. Loki understands better than expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Shadow You Cast Over Me

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt on Avengerkink: "I just want something that looks into Tony desperately wanting to be able to be friends with Steve, but when he looks at him, all he sees is father's disappointed face; all he hears is his father drunkenly telling him how much better Cap would have done this or that. What makes it even harder is the fact that it's kind of hard to deny that Cap is falling in love with him, and there is literally no way Tony could ever return those feelings. The only person who can understand, even a little, is one of his archenemies - even if the situation isn't the same because no matter what Loki does he never seems to break Thor's heart completely, Thor who still can't think of Loki as anything but his brother (even when he's holding the mayor hostage...he just breaks out the "he's adopted"s then). I don't want Tony to be in denial of his feelings, or to be attracted to Cap, leading him to sleep with Cap and then break his heart when he hits and quits it and everyone can then justifiably be all jerky towards him and protective over Cap...I want Tony to honestly feel bad but he can't feel anything towards Cap but, at most, respect and sometimes grudging friendship. After all, this is the man whose existence made his life basically hell without even being there."

**H** E HADN'T KNOWN HE WAS SETTING A PRECEDENT AFTER THAT FIRST BATTLE, presenting Loki with the previously offered and now requested drink, but every time Loki fought them and was defeated rather than escape, Tony shooed the team (minus Clint, who stuck to the ceiling vent to keep an eye on things) away from the bar and poured the shots. For all he was a trickster, the post battle drink seemed to be a sacrosanct ritual to Loki (one that Thor was most assuredly _not_ welcome for, to the blonde god's obvious heartbreak, but he respected his brother's wishes). Steve had tried to stay and "guard the prisoner" the first few times, but Tony had pointed out that Clint was there, that Tony was not helpless, and that "his Tower, his rules" still applied even with the giant "A" on the building in place of his name.

"Young Steven seems to have become quite protective of you," Loki observed once after being treated to a particularly dark glare from the Captain as he was ejected from the room. Rather than blush or stammer or leer, however, Tony grimaced.

"He'll get over it," he said, but he looked resigned and Loki said nothing more about it.

Except Steve didn't "get over it" as Tony hoped, only seeming to become more and more protective, unconsciously (or consciously, but Tony really hoped Steve wasn't really thinking of him as something weak to be wrapped in cotton wool) hovering and pestering him eat, to sleep, to "be more careful".

"Look, I know you were born about sixty decades before me and all," Tony snapped finally, glaring at Steve from over the kitchen counter where he'd been chopping vegetables for stir fry. "But you do actually remember that in terms of years spent walking around in the world I'm twenty years _older_ than you, right?"

"What does that have to do with wanting you to be careful?" Steve protested, and Tony had to grit his teeth against the kicked puppy look being leveled at him.

"You're treating me like a toddler who can't be trusted to cross the fucking street without a chaperone and two armed guards," Tony said flatly, pointing the tip of his knife at the Captain. "And you're going to stop doing it before people outside the team pick up on the way you don't seem to trust me to handle myself. What kind of example do you think it sets to see the leader of the Avengers treating one of his team members like an incompetent child?"

"I don't... you're always taking risks..." Steve stammered. Tony rolled his eyes.

" _Calculated_ risks, _Captain_ ," he emphasized. "I may not have all the combat training of you and the Super Spy Twins or our resident warrior god, but I'm perfectly capable of running the numbers on any given set of battle scenarios on the fly. Ask Clint; he started quizzing me after our third mission."

"He does," Clint chimed in from his spot up on the perch below the ceiling access Tony'd installed when he'd noticed the way the archer gravitated towards high places. "Every scenario I've shot at him, he asks twenty or so clarifying questions about the terrain, civilian population, enemy numbers, armour, strength, and then gives me two to eight possible battle strategies along with percentage of success versus percentage for risk of injury for everyone on the team."

"But... you keep just _reacting_..." Steve protested weakly.

"Genius, remember?" Tony drawled, twirling the knife around one finger before slicing down neatly through the carrot in front of him. "It's not just a boast."

It might have made Tony feel better to have it out like that, and to a degree it even worked in getting Steve to back off, but now whenever Steve thought he wasn't looking Tony would end up on the receiving end of the most longing, hangdog look he'd ever seen on a human face, and it made his gut twist unpleasantly to even be in the room with Steve when he started that.

The thing was, he _wanted_ to like Steve. The guy was an honest, good, upstanding sort of person, the kind of man other men liked to know and mothers wished their daughters would bring home. Steve Rogers was everything Tony's father had ever claimed him to be, and it was that very thing which cut at Tony the most deeply. It had almost seemed a relief, a vindication when Rogers had torn into him during that anger fueled, magic fed fight on the helicarrier, Captain America saying everything that Tony's father had ever shouted drunkenly at him. He didn't quite know how to deal with a Captain America - _Steve_ \- who seemed almost desperate to take back their first meeting and rewrite it, who hovered and wanted to spend time with him and was just plain _there_ with that hopeful puppy look, and Tony just... couldn't.

Clint at least seemed to have picked up on Tony's inability to deal with Steve in any capacity beyond the semi-chaotic brand of professionalism he always used and had begun either running interference for Tony or offering him sanctuary, be it in the shooting range "working on his target practice", the gym for "sparring without the suit to keep you moving", or even hiding him in his rooms a few times that occasionally led to huddling together in a corner riding out their respective demons in companionable silence. Clint also seemed to be the only one who understood, in spite of his own very real and serious issues, how Tony could play the perfect host to their enemy time and again and never mistook his easy manner with Loki for actual friendship.

Though the more it happened, the more Tony was coming to realize how much he understood of Thor's estranged little brother.

"Does it ever get any easier?" he asked Loki once during their now-ritual post-battle drink. Loki paused, glass raised halfway to his lips, and quirked an eyebrow.

"Does what ever get easier?"

"You know," Tony said awkwardly, waving the hand not holding his own drink as he looked fixedly down into the amber liquid. "That whole thing of knowing that you'll always hate him just that much more than he can ever love you, when he already loves you so much, all because your dad was never shy about playing favorites."

He tried to convince himself that he was talking about Thor. From the way Loki slowly lowered the glass and looked at him, pensive and pained, Tony knew the god wasn't any more fooled than he was.

"...No," Loki said after a long moment, quiet and solemn. "No, I do not believe it ever does." He glanced away, looking towards the floor to ceiling windows, glass long since replaced from when he'd thrown Tony through them. "In all honesty, I think... sometimes, it actually gets harder. And I find myself... loving him _less_."

"I was afraid you'd say that," Tony muttered, grimacing. Glancing up, he lifted his glass towards Loki in the parody of a toast. "To fathers," he quipped. Loki mirrored him, lips twisting into that familiar smirk without the malicious humour in his eyes to give it weight.

"To fathers," he echoed, touching the rim of his glass to Tony's with a gentle clink. Together, they drained their glasses, commiserating on the chance at happiness lost before it could be realized.

On the other side of the door, Clint turned to a stricken-looking Steve and heartbroken Thor. "I don't think they're done yet," he said quietly, and pretended not to see the wetness in Steve's eyes over the dimming light of hope.


End file.
